NPR News

'Please Help Me'

NPR

Published February 20, 2006 at 2:40 PM EST

Original Letter:

I'm 13 years old. My sister was a competitive figure skater for her whole life. Just last year, she quit training at a high-profile facility. She decided to go to a nice university in our town. I get to see her every day. It was really nice because she would stop by every so often. Well, this college slowly changed her; she's not the same person she was when she loved skating and loved her family. She's a real party girl, and drinks and is kind of snotty. It's really upsetting. So just a couple weeks ago, an incident happened that is out of my control. I heard her talking with my mother and father about getting severely drunk and going home with a guy, who could have drugged her. It's really upsetting because if you knew my sister you would be, like, no way! She is a totally different person. She stopped going to school just this week and says she's going to go back… It's really not fun having her around the house all the time, because all she ever does is bring me down… She always asks me what to do and I'm like, maybe you should try getting a job, being organized. And she freaks out! She says she's having, like, stress attacks and feels like she throws up. But she still went to a party last night…. Skating is what she loved, and now she's totally different… she buys all these skanky clothes. It's really annoying and confusing. I guess what I need advice on is what can I say or do or act like? What should I do about her changing? What should I say when she asks me what she should do with her life?

Thanks,

Frustrated

Elder Response:

Hi,

Thirteen ladies and four gentlemen are responding.

We applaud you for being such an amazing sister. This is completely out of your hands right now. Your sister is badly troubled and needs psychological help.

There is an organization that's for families of alcoholics, it's called Al-anon.

You may not think so, but your sister is showing the behavior of an alcoholic and you need to go and talk to people with a similar problem. They will help you get on with your own life and help her when she tries to help herself.

You need to also get your parents seriously involved. This is too much for your shoulder. They need to take her to a mental health facility to try and get the good sister back again.

Good luck with all of this and keep us posted.

Asbury Friends