Animals of the Ocean
This is a book of lies! Deceits! Utter nonsense! Which is precisely why it's on my gift list. I'm not even going to tell you who actually wrote it, having been discouraged by the so-called Dr. Haggis-on-Whey: "As they have chosen to not pursue a life of science," she writes, "they are hardly worth discussing here."
Reading this irreverent picture book's first page ("What is in the ocean, you ask, beside water and tuna? The answer is not much."), you may notice a certain resemblance to the disarming dark humor of Lemony Snickett. I assure you, that esteemed writer at least aspired to make sense. Not so the H-o-W's, who answer questions such as "Why is it so dark in the dark part of the sea?" with a story that starts with Greg the circus ringmaster, makes a quick stop at Bed, Bath and Beyond and ends with the sea's purchase of navy-blue velvet curtains. However, they caution, "that doesn't explain the smell."
What can I say? It works. Of all the gift books I showed my renegade 60-year-old sister (she's much older), this is the one she wants. I suspect it was the guide to shark religions that did it.
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